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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23263594">Reticent</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/najaeri/pseuds/najaeri'>najaeri</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>DBSK | Tohoshinki | TVfXQ | TVXQ</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, Psychological Drama, Romance, Slice of Life, Time Skips</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-03-22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-03-22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-01 06:35:35</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>9,201</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23263594</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/najaeri/pseuds/najaeri</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Jaejoong could see people's life clocks in different parts of their bodies. He envied when they had more time than him and he felt sad when they were minutes away from death. But he had only two weeks left to live. </p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Jung Yunho &amp; Kim Jaejoong, Jung Yunho/Kim Jaejoong</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>9</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Reticent</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Jaejoong has always tried to live his life to the fullest. He tries his best to not waste his time in minimal things like choosing which color suits his skin tone the best or deliberating if he should change his hair color. He simply goes for it. If he wants a specific food, he buys it. If he wants to play a certain game and spend a hundred dollars dressing his characters, he will.</p><p> </p><p>He has lived to restrain himself, but not anymore.</p><p> </p><p>Not when he only has less than a month to live.</p><p> </p><p>Jaejoong sadly smiled at the thought, but that was something he could not change.</p><p> </p><p>He loved life. Yes, sometimes it was hard. Yes, there was pain and sorrow, but there were also smiles and moments for which to be grateful. Not everything was suffering or crying. There were beautiful things he could see.</p><p> </p><p>But unfortunately, life has other plans for him.</p><p> </p><p>He felt the tears coming back to his eyes, but he held them back. He would enjoy the small time he had and then, just then, he will depart and smile to those who brought him the most happiness.</p><p> </p><p>"Jae!" he heard his best friend and he smiled.</p><p> </p><p>He was one of them.</p><p> </p><p>"Hey!" greeted the red-haired guy. "I did not expect you here."</p><p> </p><p>"I know!" answered the newcomer, giving the other a quick hug. "But, your favorite writer is in town."</p><p> </p><p>"No fucking way!" he exclaimed, immediately going inside his house to pick up one of the books that have not been autographed yet. He has most of his collection, but not all of them had a precious signature. His ultimate goal was to have every single one with his mark on it, but he didn’t know if he was going to be able to make it.</p><p> </p><p>He only had two weeks left.</p><p> </p><p>That was not enough.</p><p> </p><p>“Are you sure you want to go?” asked a very worried Junsu, looking directly at his wrist. He did not see it as the other did, but he was well aware. After all, he was his best friend and even though he had to admit it was weird at first, Jaejoong never failed.</p><p> </p><p>He always guessed without failure.</p><p> </p><p>Just like that time he fell to the abyss of despair.</p><p> </p><p>He lost his mother and his fiancée in the same car accident. He wasn’t able to save them but how could he? It was their fate and he couldn’t do anything about it.</p><p> </p><p>Just like he could not stop Jaejoong from dying.</p><p> </p><p>Junsu felt the tears on his eyes, looking at his best friend. He has gone through the pain of loss twice, he didn’t want to go through it again.</p><p> </p><p>But life didn’t want him to be happy. Life took everything he loved away from him.</p><p> </p><p>They took his mother, Sara, they took his fiancée, Jungsoo and they want to take Jaejoong.</p><p> </p><p>“Junsu…” he heard his name, followed by waves of sadness. Jaejoong wanted to live and that’s what he hated the most. How come a person who’s willing to enjoy life no matter the pain and consequences has to leave this world? Why is he not getting a second chance?</p><p> </p><p>Why was life so unfair?</p><p> </p><p>“It’s okay,” was all Jaejoong said, but Junsu felt guiltier. He felt hopeless, just like five years ago. He wanted to do something, but he could not. Jaejoong won’t let him now and he won’t let him be near him when it happens.</p><p> </p><p>“It hurts,” he admitted, the tears finally falling from his eyes. “It just hurts.”</p><p> </p><p>“It hurts me more,” were the older’s words, a bitter smile covering his face.</p><p> </p><p>+++</p><p> </p><p>Jaejoong was enjoying a small cafe, looking out the window. The fan meeting had been more than amazing and he got another autograph. The writer recognized him immediately and thanked him for his never-ending support. Junsu went to work after a bit and he decided to grab something quick and energetic. He didn’t have a lot to do and he has been jobless for quite a while.</p><p> </p><p>He didn’t want to spend his last days working like a slave. He liked his job - he did, but he wasn’t going to be here much longer. Not even a couple of years. So, it wasn’t worth it.</p><p> </p><p>Jaejoong looked at his wrist, sadness written all over his face. It was hidden with a handkerchief, unable to see the time he had left. He had tons and he matched them with his clothing. It helped him forget that he had this weird vision of seeing people’s timeframes.</p><p> </p><p>And he became so scared of clocks, he hid most of them and replaced them with something else. He even took the time out of his phone with an application he found. He hated being related with time and he hated anything that had to do with it.</p><p> </p><p>It was hard.</p><p> </p><p>Jaejoong sighed for the tenth time, watching people coming in and out of the cafe. He could not see the clocks in all of them, but most were visible. He always felt jealousy when he saw people that had years left and he always felt empty when he saw some people only had minutes left. It was a weird sensation both times and not able to do anything for those leaving was bothersome as well.</p><p> </p><p>He decided to stand up. He should do something else. Something more entertaining, something he would remember forever. He grabbed his things and proceeded to walk towards the exit. But being as distracted as he was, he bumped into someone, his bag with his belongings falling to the floor.</p><p> </p><p>“Oh, I am sorry,” immediately said Jaejoong, not looking at the person in front of him. He bent himself a little, picking everything back and getting it back into his bag before bowing down to the person.</p><p> </p><p>And that’s when their eyes connected.</p><p> </p><p>They stood there for a couple of seconds, strangely looking at each other. Jaejoong had to admit he was handsome. He has a mole on the corner of his lip, brownish long hair tied in a tiny ponytail and a small, but powerful face. His body seemed out of his world with his tight jeans and a loose shirt, but he looked broken.</p><p> </p><p>His eyes screamed sorrow.</p><p> </p><p>The other person did not say anything to him but bowed in return, leaving the other one expecting more.</p><p> </p><p>Jaejoong turned around, taking a glimpse at his back and gasped to himself.</p><p> </p><p>He has never seen an infinite symbol on someone’s clock.</p><p> </p><p>+++</p><p> </p><p>“So, you are telling me that this dude has an infinite life?” inquired Junsu with an arched eyebrow. “What is he, Superman?”</p><p> </p><p>“I don’t know,” replied Jaejoong as confused as his best friend. “This is my first time too. I don’t even have an explanation for it.”</p><p> </p><p>“I mean, everyone has a time limit, right?” he said, but it sounded more like a question to himself. “The highest you have seen is on me, right?”</p><p> </p><p>Jaejoong nodded. “You have 76 years left. You are the highest number I have ever seen considering your age.”</p><p> </p><p>“Wow,” answered the other, his head full of thoughts. He wasn’t understanding anything, to be honest. “I don’t know what to say.”</p><p> </p><p>“Me neither,” replied the youngest followed by a sigh. “But I don’t think I will ever see him again and that comforts me.”</p><p> </p><p>“I don’t need to ask why,” were Junsu’s words, taking his best friend’s hand into his. He had a sad countenance, but there was nothing he could do to prevent that.</p><p> </p><p>Neither could.</p><p> </p><p>“I wish I could have it,” he replied, the tears appearing on his eyes, but not meeting its destination yet. “Considering how short my life is here, it would be great if I had that opportunity…”</p><p> </p><p>Junsu felt the tears falling. It always happened.</p><p> </p><p>The greatest people living in this world left earlier than usual.</p><p> </p><p>+++</p><p> </p><p>Jaejoong was walking around, enjoying the easy breeze. It has been a few days since he had a strange encounter, but he wasn’t thinking about that as often as he thought. He was only wondering how he should enjoy his life and if he should go around some places before he left this world for good.</p><p> </p><p>His clock was dropping.</p><p> </p><p>He was at twelve days.</p><p> </p><p>It was only a matter of time before he went to sleep and found himself either in pitch darkness or roaming around. He wasn’t the kind of person to not believe in the afterlife, but he was sure there was something else out there. However, he was indeed glad that he could not see them. He had enough with his gift.</p><p> </p><p>His deathful gift.</p><p> </p><p>He sighed for the tenth time in the day and decided to stop at a nearby bridge. He didn’t even know the name of it, but the view was extremely spectacular. He was mesmerized to the point that he thought it would be very nice to die here, in the middle of nowhere. But that was something he could not control.</p><p> </p><p>He didn’t know how he was going to die, just the day it would happen.</p><p> </p><p>Which was sad. He was young, barely 26 and yet, he was destined to leave this world without any type of legacy. He didn’t finish his studies, he couldn’t retire and he couldn’t work like a normal person. He never felt love and desire for another human being and he never discovered the wonders of pleasure. His entire life was him being worried about his stupid clock.</p><p> </p><p>But at least, he won’t suffer anymore. He won’t see precious people dying and himself engrossed in sadness without being able to tell them. He won’t see children dying in the hands of their parents each time he went to the hospital or elder people smiling at him while they left this world. It was very depressing and he knew he won’t miss it.</p><p> </p><p>Jaejoong decided to hide his thoughts away. It was killing every second he had left and those were precious to him. However, when he was about to leave he saw a very familiar person on the border of the bridge.</p><p> </p><p>He was close to jumping out.</p><p> </p><p>Jaejoong gasped. He was not supposed to mend into death’s business, but he didn’t want to see a tragedy. If he had to spend a day saving a life, he would take it with him. He didn’t want to be a bystander and do nothing about it. He wasn’t that kind of person.</p><p> </p><p>He ran towards him and in a flash, he arrived. He eventually grabbed his hand, preventing him from going further.</p><p> </p><p>“Don’t!” he shouted, earning looks from other people that either chose to ignore what was happening or were close by and stopped, hoping the young man could save a life.</p><p> </p><p>“Why not?” the stranger asked back, his eyes focused on the abyss beneath him. "I am not taking anyone with me. I am taking my own life away."</p><p> </p><p>"But that's the point; your life matters," he tried to convince him, not letting go of his hand. He was desperately trying to see his clock, he desperately needed to know if it was fluctuating. When that happened, he was deliberating and that could help him buy more time. "I wished, I hoped I could choose not to die, but I eventually will. My days on this Earth are counted and I wished to have been able to enjoy it a bit more."</p><p> </p><p>He saw the stranger looking to the horizon rather than the river and he took that as a good signal. He rarely talked about his clock; he didn't want to scare anyone, but he had some good lies with it. He had to come up with them in case he disclosed he was dying soon. He didn't want them to think he was suicidal or something, he just wanted them to understand how precious life was for him and that he wasn't as lucky as some people.</p><p> </p><p>"I am not judging you," he said, knowing the other was listening and a couple of people came to give him the support he needed. "I don't know you. How could I sit here and reprimand you of a lesson you might have learned? I am not here to do that, but instead to convince you how great life is and to give it another opportunity."</p><p> </p><p>"I only have less than two weeks left," he confessed, earning gasps from other people and knowing some others were already crying out of pity. He hated that, but his goal was to make the stranger realize the mistake he's making. "And I cannot stop it. There's nothing in this world I can do to prolong my life, but I might be able to prolong yours. Even if it's for several seconds, minutes or hopefully years, I may have the power to stop you."</p><p> </p><p>"Please, don't jump..." he almost begged. He didn't have any other words for the guy, but he hoped, he prayed that his words, somehow, convinced him.</p><p> </p><p>And he did.</p><p> </p><p>The guy stepped out of the bridge, his feet safely landing to the ground. Jaejoong sighed in relief and smiled, but he didn't drop his hand. The people around them started to applaud, proud of the guy for choosing life over death. The youngster had tears on his eyes, but he knew he did an amazing deed.</p><p> </p><p>He was about to let go of his hand when the stranger tightened the intertwined hands. Jaejoong looked at his eyes and he saw the deepest sorrow he has ever encountered in his life.</p><p> </p><p>He swallowed.</p><p> </p><p>"Don't leave me," he whispered, trying to hide his voice. But it sounded as broken as it could be. "If you do, I might jump."</p><p> </p><p>And Jaejoong knew that this was not a threat, but a cry for help.</p><p> </p><p>"Do you like coffee?" asked Jaejoong all of a sudden and the stranger nodded.</p><p> </p><p>"Let's have a cup, then."</p><p> </p><p>+++</p><p> </p><p>At the café, Jaejoong was sitting in front of the nameless guy. Both of them had their coffees, his being sweet and the other one is extremely bitter. It was dark, it contained no sugar and no sweetener. He was accompanied with soy milk and soy creamer as he was lactose intolerant. It was the perfect example of an oxymoron.</p><p> </p><p>But he didn't dare to talk. He thought it would be too bothersome to ask why and in complete honesty, he didn't know how to approach a suicidal person without being judgmental or causing stress. What he did a couple of hours ago was only out of desperation, but it worked.</p><p> </p><p>And for him, that was the most important outcome.</p><p> </p><p>"They died," suddenly began the stranger to tell him. He had so many emotions on his eyes, but he was holding back the tears. He wasn't permitting himself to cry and that hurt Jaejoong.</p><p> </p><p>Jaejoong immediately knew he never had anyone to talk to and if he did, he cared so much he didn't want to burden them with his problems.</p><p>"We were all scheduled for a flight," he began to say his story. "This happened last year..."</p><p> </p><p><em>Oh shit, </em>said Jaejoong in his head. He was well-aware of what happened. He remembered that day. He lost a couple of trains to pick up his friend Junsu from the airport. They were supposed to head home but they couldn't.</p><p> </p><p>An airplane crashed in the Philippine Sea. There were no survivors.</p><p> </p><p>"I had to stay in the country for at least three days," he continued, his eyes engulfed in tears. "I had to change my plane and I was very hesitant to do so. I did not want to do it, but for me to leave on that vacation, they requested me to stay. I hated my company, I hated it so much but it paid me amazingly well. I could not leave it that easy, so I agreed."</p><p> </p><p>"I should have asked them to stay with me," he said, the first tear falling and caressing his cheek. "I should have told them to simply wait for me until I was able to go, but they were so excited to go that they didn't want to delay it. They really… really wanted to go..."</p><p> </p><p>Jaejoong felt his throat closing. He didn't like where this was going.</p><p> </p><p>"I lost my wife, my son, my unborn daughter, my best friend, and my mother," Jaejoong gasped, taking a deep breath afterward as he saw more tears falling from his face. "My wife was pregnant. She was five months along and instead of me leaving with them, I'm still living..."</p><p> </p><p>"How?" he asked Jaejoong, tasting his own tears. "How can I live without them? Why am I still standing here when my life purpose died the same day they left?"</p><p> </p><p>Jaejoong had no words. He had no words to console him. The only thing he could do was to listen and let him vent. It might help him. It won't heal him, but it might bring the solace he needed. The youngster decided to hold his hand again, showing him with actions he was going to be there as long as he needed.</p><p> </p><p>It wasn't the way he expected to end his life, but it didn't seem like a bad idea. In exchange for his, he was saving another. And he never knew the other guy's family, but he was very sure they would be happy to see him here.</p><p> </p><p>He didn't believe in reasoning or destiny, but somehow the words 'everything happens for a reason' brought solace to his soul in his darkest moments.</p><p> </p><p>And maybe, just maybe, it could bring some to the stranger too.</p><p> </p><p>But he knew he was in no position to say those. At least not yet.</p><p> </p><p>"I just… don't understand..." he continued, his voice faltering as time passed. "I cannot seem to… get why… why I was left alone… why I did not convince them of not taking that flight… Why didn't I do more… Why was I so useless..."</p><p> </p><p>"I know any words that I say will be meaningless to you," said Jaejoong all of the sudden, trying to disguise his feelings and what it meant for him to live as desperately as he wanted to. "And I will never be able to understand what it is to lose someone you love as I have never loved someone before," he confessed, a small bright pink covering his cheeks. "But I can assure you that there was no way for you to change it. Once it comes, it comes. Just like mine," he bitterly smiled. "I have about twelve days left. Did I cry when I found out? Yes. Do I want to say goodbye? No. Did I have the chance to? Yes and maybe that is what hurts you the most. You didn't have the same opportunity as me to say goodbye, but trust me, it is still difficult to say so because I am still alive."</p><p> </p><p>"Clock runs against me and I still have to smile during the day, knowing tomorrow I will be closer to death. It doesn't matter how it happens, it will hurt the same."</p><p> </p><p>The stranger wiped away his tears, but he felt a tad bit relieved. He needed to get it out of his chest. It has been months since he has genuinely talked to someone who did not judge how he felt or criticized his feelings. He has been told egoistic and loveless because of his thoughts. In the end, all he earned was despiteful looks.</p><p> </p><p>Not once did they think about how hard it was for him to lose his entire family.</p><p> </p><p>"Thank you," said the stranger, a small smile covering his face. "For your kind words and for listening to me. We might not run into each other again, but it is sad, indeed, that you only have so little in this life… The world will lose someone amazing."</p><p> </p><p>Jaejoong smiled at his remark. "That's why I ask you to live. At least until I die, live for another day and see how it goes. If it gets too tiring, reset the matter for tomorrow. If after I leave you to want to die, at least you gave life the opportunity it deserved, don't you think?"</p><p> </p><p>The stranger nodded. "I will. I will give this life twelve days… Only twelve days."</p><p> </p><p>Jaejoong nodded as well, asking the most important question of the entire conversation.</p><p> </p><p>"And… what's your name?"</p><p> </p><p>The guy sighed. "Yunho. Jung Yunho."</p><p> </p><p>+++</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Countdown to departure- Day 11</b>
</p><p> </p><p>After they both exchanged numbers, Jaejoong left with a peaceful mind. Yunho looked like a person who kept promises. His idea of leaving South Korea has desisted forever as he understood his life was short on the planet. But he knew a lot of fun stuff he could do with his new friend. It was nice to have someone by your side that did not judge or didn't cry every time he mentioned how little he had left.</p><p> </p><p>He adored Junsu, but they were too attached.</p><p> </p><p>This was like a new and fresh ending for him.</p><p> </p><p>He could live with that.</p><p> </p><p>Jaejoong was about to take his cellphone out when he heard it ringing intensively inside his pocket. He immediately answered, having a feeling of knowing who it was.</p><p> </p><p>"Yunho?" he asked, not even saying hello.</p><p> </p><p><em>"Yes," </em>he responded and the youngest smiled. He was glad. He was truly glad he was still alive.</p><p> </p><p>"Wanna go somewhere?" he asked out of politeness. He knew already where he was going to take him in case he said nowhere.</p><p> </p><p><em>"No,</em>" replied Yunho, but Jaejoong was not accepting no for an answer.</p><p> </p><p>"Well, too bad because I already made plans," he said to the other, not hearing anything but knowing he was still there on the line. "I'm bringing you close to your people," was all he said. "Meet me at the café in 15 minutes," were his last words before he hung up, smiling to himself while he walked towards their meeting place.</p><p> </p><p>Making sure he ordered Yunho's coffee correctly.</p><p> </p><p>When he finished his order, he saw the beautiful stranger coming towards him. He looked visibly better, but he knew the sorrow he hid inside. Jaejoong gave him his coffee and grabbed his empty hand, taking him to his car.</p><p> </p><p>As Jaejoong drove, he spoke a lot to the other. The other answered from time to time, mostly enjoying the younger's stories. He was a listener, not a talker. Yunho didn't know if it was good or bad, but he has always been that way.</p><p> </p><p>Almost an hour later, they arrived and Yunho panicked.</p><p> </p><p>The ocean.</p><p> </p><p>Where he lost his family.</p><p> </p><p>Yunho swallowed hard but heard the door being opened, a warmness he couldn't describe engulfing him. He felt the other's hand intertwining with his, making him step out of the car.</p><p> </p><p>He was sweating.</p><p> </p><p>"You know why I brought you here?" asked Jaejoong, looking directly at his eyes. "Because as hard as it sounds, you need to let them go and I don't mean it in a bad way. You will always remember and that won't change, but what you need to cherish the most is the good times. I'm pretty sure that wherever they are, they are happy that you have been holding on. You are the only left of the family," he softly said, seeing Yunho's teary eyes.</p><p> </p><p>"Scream, shout, talk, be silent; doesn't matter what you do, but do it. Let them know that you are here."</p><p> </p><p>+++</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Countdown to departure - Day 10</b>
</p><p> </p><p>Jaejoong was texting with Junsu at the same café he had been spending most of his time at. He was becoming a regular and from time to time, he was forgetting he had a death clock on his wrist. Those were absolutely good news. Those thoughts prevented him from enjoying his life and he hated it.</p><p> </p><p>Ever since he began to see his days, he lived in terror. He tried to scratch it off, to cut it, to mark it several times, but it never went away. It stood there, reminding him that as soon as it reaches zero, he would disappear forever.</p><p> </p><p>However, his thoughts dispersed when he saw Yunho coming in and immediately sitting down on the chair in front of him.</p><p> </p><p>"Hey!" he greeted him with a smile on his face. Yunho rarely smiled, but he nodded in return, acknowledging his greeting.</p><p> </p><p>"Do you want to know where are we going?" he asked, but the oldest mouthed a small no. Jaejoong wasn't sure if the other liked surprises, but it seemed like it.</p><p> </p><p>"Okay," he said, hearing the barista calling his name for the coffees. He was about to stand up when he saw Yunho getting up, going straight towards the counter to pick up the order.</p><p> </p><p>Jaejoong followed his back, his eyes detaining at the back of his neck.</p><p> </p><p>He opened his eyes in disbelief.</p><p> </p><p>The infinite symbol…</p><p> </p><p>And that's when he remembered why the guy looked so familiar all this time.</p><p> </p><p>Jaejoong swallowed hard, watching the newcomer holding the tray and placing it on the table. The youngest honestly didn't know how to react.</p><p> </p><p>"Are you… okay?" he heard the other asking and he decided to throw his thoughts away.</p><p> </p><p>"Yes, yes," he answered back, a fake smile appearing on his lips.</p><p> </p><p>"You are lying," indicated Yunho and Jaejoong looked directly at his eyes.</p><p> </p><p>"You are always bubbly and full of life even when you have so little time left," he stated, taking a sip of his coffee. "You are exactly my opposite. Something happened."</p><p> </p><p>Jaejoong sighed, not knowing how to explain it to him. He was incredibly jealous and furiously upset. The other was wasting his time in what he considered nonsense instead of living to the fullest, but he won't judge him. He didn't judge him back there, he won't do it now. But he had to admit it was difficult to maintain his position when he only had ten days left and the other had <em>infinite </em>time to spare.</p><p> </p><p>+++</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Countdown to departure - Day 9 </b>
</p><p> </p><p>Jaejoong wasn't feeling well and he knew exactly why. He was sure he would have a disease that would prevent him from doing what he wanted to do and he would spend his last days in a hospital. That wasn't a great idea, but he was being dramatic. Maybe it was just the common cold and his method of dying was completely different than what he thought.</p><p> </p><p>He wanted to skip the usual friendship date he had with Yunho, but he couldn't do that to him. It would also distract him from his foolish thoughts, so he decided that the best thing he could do was to invite him to his house.</p><p> </p><p>Shortly after, he heard the doorbell being rang twice and he stood up, greeting the newcomer. He had a couple of bags on his hands and he took a few of them, inviting him to enter. Jaejoong placed the ones he had on top of the counter and invited Yunho to do the same. After they finished, Jaejoong smiled at the eldest and grabbed his hand, but immediately stopped.</p><p> </p><p>Yunho was preventing him from going further.</p><p> </p><p>The younger briefly looked at him, not knowing why the other was stopping him, but he didn't want to ask either.</p><p> </p><p>He did want to smack himself for feeling his heartbeat going longer than usual.</p><p> </p><p>"Has anyone told you how beautiful you are?" asked the oldest, making the youngest blush.</p><p> </p><p>"A couple of times, yes," he admitted and it was true. He wasn't being sarcastic. He knew he had unique features and he knew some people enjoyed it. However, it never went past that. He didn't feel confident enough to demonstrate an interest in anyone or to simply hang out for a bit and see what happened. He was too shy.</p><p> </p><p>"I am glad I can admire your beauty before you leave," he admitted, snatching a half-smile from the other. "If I weren't hurting, I would kiss you."</p><p> </p><p>Jaejoong blushed harder.</p><p> </p><p>Was it him or did it suddenly get hotter in here?</p><p> </p><p>+++</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Countdown to departure - Day 8</b>
</p><p> </p><p>“So, you can’t come?” asked Jaejoong, suddenly sad at the news. They were supposed to meet at the mall. He needed to buy some things he wanted to leave in Junsu’s care, but he hasn’t been able to. He also did not want to scare the elder. He was 99% done with his will and certain stuff he wanted to give to some non-profit entities he worked a couple of months ago as a voluntary.</p><p> </p><p>He wasn’t certainly excited, but he could not do anything to stop it.</p><p> </p><p>“<em>No,” </em>he heard the other say and he sighed. There was nothing he could do to convince the other.</p><p> </p><p>“Okay,” was his answer. He really wanted to spend the day with him. He wanted to forget, but he understood if the other felt too overwhelmed or simply wanted to be alone. Sometimes, that happened and he couldn’t be selfish. Even if he was dying, he wasn’t that type of person.</p><p> </p><p><em>“But can you come to my house at 8 pm?” </em>asked the elder and Jaejoong smiled to himself.</p><p> </p><p>A couple of hours wouldn’t hurt him. Actually, he did want that.</p><p> </p><p>And he accepted it in a heartbeat.</p><p> </p><p>The time passed rather quickly for him. He bought what he needed, he went to his house and tried to relax a little. He took a quick shower and changed and he was on his way to Yunho’s house. He liked his common clothes better, but he wanted to be presentable for the other.</p><p> </p><p>His heart skipped a beat.</p><p> </p><p>Jaejoong sighed, trying to ignore what he was feeling. After all, he only had eight days left. There was no point in liking the other. It wasn’t enough for him to feel love and it wasn’t worth it either.</p><p> </p><p>The elder has been through a lot, he didn’t need another disgrace in his life.</p><p> </p><p>But he had a calmer heart; the oldest knew he was dying soon. There were no secrets between them regarding that. Yunho was supposed to continue living and Jaejoong was supposed to die. It was bittersweet, but he was glad to have been able to save the other. That mysterious but infinite clock will remain as long as he kept himself alive.</p><p> </p><p>And he has been checking.</p><p> </p><p>Yunho hasn’t wavered and the thought made him smile.</p><p> </p><p>Jaejoong parked his car in Yunho’s apartment complex and stepped out, locking the car afterward. He went towards the gate, marking the number to request visitation. The guard let him in immediately after reading the list and he pushed the heavy door, walking strictly towards the elevator. He pressed the up button and waited for the arrival.</p><p> </p><p>When the doors opened, he gasped.</p><p> </p><p>Yunho was dressed in a tuxedo with a huge rose bouquet.</p><p> </p><p>“What the…” murmured the youngest as he watched the elder extending his hand towards him. Jaejoong hesitated, but couldn’t help to touch him and feel that electricity he hated.</p><p> </p><p>He didn’t want to feel.</p><p> </p><p>He wasn’t expecting this.</p><p> </p><p>Yunho pressed the 11th button, watching the doors closing and the elevator going up. The silence wasn’t awkward, but they actually wanted to say something. Jaejoong was eager to know why he was received with such a gift and Yunho wanted to spoil the surprise once and for all.</p><p> </p><p>But they were almost there. Waiting a bit more won’t kill any of them.</p><p> </p><p>When the doors opened, Yunho grabbed Jaejoong’s hand once again and walked him towards his apartment. They both took their shoes off and when they entered, Jaejoong felt the tears rolling down his face.</p><p> </p><p>It was covered in candles with a big banner that said:</p><p> </p><p>"<em>In every dying thought, there's a living word."</em></p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <b>Countdown to departure - Day 7</b>
</p><p> </p><p>He was down to a week and he was a crying mess. He thought he was prepared for this moment, but he wasn't. He has been living a lie ever since he knew how much time he had left. He tried to be happy, he tried to be someone, but in the end, it was worthless just like his stupid and unfaithful life.</p><p> </p><p>And his surroundings were crumbling.</p><p> </p><p>Jaejoong screamed, the tasteless tears forcefully falling from his eyes. He started to kick and throw things to the ground like mad man, trying to break the pain he had inside, but it was useless. Nothing would appease what he was feeling. It was useless. Everything he was feeling was unnecessary and it hurt him.</p><p> </p><p>It just fucking hurt.</p><p> </p><p>He was immersed in his pain and suffering that he didn’t hear the bell ringing. He didn’t recall that Yunho was supposed to come today and just chit-chat like they have been doing these past few days. He completely forgot that he was supposed to be decent with a fake smile on his face. He forgot to be himself.</p><p> </p><p>He has long forgotten.</p><p> </p><p>He didn’t hear the door being forcefully opened, he didn’t hear the steps going towards him and suddenly grabbing him, a warmth he always wanted welcoming him with open arms.</p><p> </p><p>And he certainly didn’t see how worried Yunho was.</p><p> </p><p>“Jaejoong, what is happening?” he heard him ask, but there was nothing he could say. He truly didn’t know what to tell him, so he stood quietly in front of his long lost love while the tears kept falling.</p><p> </p><p>And then, Yunho kissed him and that was the first time he saw heaven.</p><p> </p><p>After his breakdown, Yunho convinced him of taking a shower while he cleaned the room. He wasn’t happy and he surely didn’t want Yunho to do it, but there was nothing he could do. He was too weak and exhausted to fight.</p><p> </p><p>Just like he has given up on his life.</p><p> </p><p>He went to shower and took out his handkerchief from his wrist, expecting to see it lowered but it suddenly went up.</p><p> </p><p>He had 10 days left instead of 7.</p><p> </p><p>What was happening?</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Countdown to departure - Day 6</b>
</p><p> </p><p>Jaejoong watched Yunho play on his PS4. He wasn’t 100% interested in games, he preferred to do other things like reading or composing music for his own entertainment, but he liked watching him. The eldest suddenly had these emotions he never showed anyone, not even to him. He didn’t exactly shout at the TV, but he sighed in annoyance every time one of his team members was killed.</p><p> </p><p>It was a funny sight and he had to admit he enjoyed it.</p><p> </p><p>Jaejoong accommodated himself on the big sofa, focusing on Yunho’s face traits. His face was small, but he was handsome. He had some scars, but that made him manlier in a way. It made him think of how much he suffered through this life, just like him and how he was trying to embrace it in a way to not lose himself. His hair was dark chocolate brown and a mess; he loved it. It looked homey and it fell wonderfully on his face.</p><p> </p><p>That man was perfection from beginning to end.</p><p> </p><p>And it was a shame.</p><p> </p><p>It was an ignominy that he just met this man.</p><p> </p><p>He would have liked to be with him for at least a year, or even a month. It was better than the couple of days he has left.</p><p> </p><p>He was pretty sure he was down to six again. He hasn’t checked ever since, but he didn’t have the strength to do so. He was too focused on living that he didn’t want to be disappointed again. He convinced himself that what he saw was a mere hallucination. There was no way in this world that his time went up.</p><p> </p><p>It has never been that way.</p><p> </p><p>But suddenly, he felt the other’s lips again stealing a kiss from him.</p><p> </p><p>Jaejoong blushed.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m sorry,” apologized for the eldest, looking at him straight to the eyes. “I mean, I’m not sorry for kissing you, but I’m sorry for not asking permission.”</p><p> </p><p>“Do you like me?” Jaejoong suddenly asked, earning a small smile from the other.</p><p> </p><p>“Yes,” answered Yunho straight and forward, watching the youngest cheeks becoming redder. “I don’t kiss just for the sake of it. I kiss because I feel something for you and that’s my way of demonstrating it. But if you want me to stop I--” he was interrupted by Jaejoong, who gave him a peck in return.</p><p> </p><p>“Don’t,” he told him, their lips very near each other. “I don’t need an explanation, I just want you to make sure we don’t have a lot left and…”</p><p> </p><p>“I’d rather have a few days with you than nothing,” was Yunho’s answer, caressing Jaejoong’s face. “I can deal with it. If I survived without my family, I can survive without you. You have been a blessing in disguise, Jaejoong. When I told you that you saved me, I wasn’t lying. You did. You saved me.”</p><p> </p><p>Jaejoong felt the tears falling again.</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Countdown to departure - Day 5</b>
</p><p> </p><p>Jaejoong was looking at Yunho’s back with a smile covering his face. He looked like a lost puppy in love, but it didn’t matter. He thought that he might as well enjoy the five days he had left. After all, it was something he would never experience again.</p><p> </p><p>But he wasn’t okay when he saw Yunho’s clock.</p><p> </p><p>All of this time, it was infinite. Not even once it has wavered. But suddenly, it went from there to 90 years.</p><p> </p><p>How?</p><p> </p><p>Was Yunho considering suicide again?</p><p> </p><p>Jaejoong bit his lips, his eyes focused on the plate in front of him. He felt the other steps coming towards him, but he didn’t hear his name being called a couple of times.</p><p> </p><p>He snapped out of it when he saw his hand being grabbed by Yunho.</p><p> </p><p>“Jaejoong?” he called him one more time, their eyes finally connecting with each other.</p><p> </p><p>“Yes?” he responded, but it sounded more like a broken cry.</p><p> </p><p>“I like you,” Yunho suddenly said, making the other smile. “I really, really do like you and all I wish, if possible, is that you stay with me longer than you told me.”</p><p> </p><p>Jaejoong suddenly felt sad. He wanted to stay too. He has been wanting to stay ever since he knew about his faith, but no matter how much he prayed and cried about it, the clock kept moving forward. It never stopped and it never decreased.</p><p> </p><p>It was life in a nutshell.</p><p> </p><p>“I have been wishing that ever since I knew,” he confessed to Yunho, the tears appearing over his eyes. “But there’s nothing we can do.”</p><p> </p><p>“I had suicidal thoughts again,” admitted Yunho, scaring Jaejoong. “They are not as often as they were before, but they are lingering. I told you yesterday I could survive without you, but every time a second passes, I waver. I don’t know, Jaejoong, I don’t know if I can make it.”</p><p> </p><p>“Put yourself in my shoes,” begged the youngest, holding back the tears. “I want to live, Yunho. I really do, but I don’t have an option. I might look healthy, I might look amazing, but every second that passes, I’m dying. I can’t stop it, but you can. You can continue living. Don’t regret it…”</p><p> </p><p>Yunho sighed and hugged him, not feeling how Jaejoong’s tears smeared his grey shirt.</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Countdown to departure - Day 4</b>
</p><p> </p><p>Jaejoong was watching the sunset in Yunho’s balcony. He spoke with Junsu for a bit before heading out. His apartment went already on sale and the attorney was ready. His clothes were donated, his furniture was given to those in need and his savings were for his mother. He had nothing left.</p><p> </p><p>Just a big heart who kept wishing.</p><p> </p><p>But as the sunset appeared, he knew it was impossible. His thinking was absurd and there was nothing he could do about it.</p><p> </p><p>He sighed, the cold but enjoyable wind hitting against his chest.</p><p> </p><p>Jaejoong smiled when he felt two pairs of arms embracing him from behind, Yunho’s chin lying down on his shoulder. He felt loved, he felt desired; he felt all of those things he never thought he would feel before he left this world. He wanted to know more about it, he wanted to keep feeling that warmth and he wanted to love him until he no longer loved him, but just like his other thoughts, it was irrational.</p><p> </p><p>Yunho gave a few kisses on his neck and he held a moan. He let the other take him yesterday and it has been a wonderful feeling. He was a virgin and he never thought more about it, but the elder was wonderful. He discovered things he never knew he had and he saw Yunho just like God created him.</p><p> </p><p>In perfection.</p><p> </p><p>Maybe it was his last gift.</p><p> </p><p>“You make me feel alive,” whispered Yunho while Jaejoong looked at the horizon, the first tear fall. “Are you sure I am losing you?”</p><p> </p><p>“Yes,” replied Jaejoong, swallowing afterward. “I have four days left.”</p><p> </p><p>“I have never asked you and I don’t know when is an appropriate time but…” he wanted to continue, but he was abruptly interrupted by the other.</p><p> </p><p>“I can’t explain,” said the younger, breaking the warmth that covered them both. “Please, don’t ask…”</p><p> </p><p>“Why?” replied Yunho with a question, a tad upset at his response. “Why can’t I ask you when I’m losing you?”</p><p> </p><p>Jaejoong felt the brand new tears covering his face. “You won’t understand. No one understands and when I explain it, people run away. Who wants to be with a monster?”</p><p> </p><p>“Listen to me, Kim Jaejoong,” demanded Yunho, grabbing his face with his hands. “You are the most beautiful soul I have ever met. If you hadn’t stepped in at that moment, I wouldn’t be here. Don’t you understand how important you are to me? Even if we met in different circumstances, I would have fallen in love with you.”</p><p> </p><p>Jaejoong gasped.</p><p> </p><p>“No!” he screamed, trying to break from the other but the other kept him close, this time one of his arms tightly securing his waist. “You can’t love me. You can like me, but please, please! Don’t love me!”</p><p> </p><p>“Just because you are dying you are not worthy of love?” he questioned him, the tears he has long forgotten appearing again. “Tell me, Jaejoong, why do you know you are dying?”</p><p> </p><p>“I just know!” he shouted, struggling to get out but the other wasn’t letting him go that easily.</p><p> </p><p>“You don’t know death!” screamed back the elder, startling Jaejoong. He has never lost his patience with anyone, but he was at the point of breaking. He loved the guy. He truly did. He only loved twice; his wife and now him. He was about to be alone again and Jaejoong wasn’t giving him a proper explanation.</p><p> </p><p>How he was supposed to feel?</p><p> </p><p>The same suffering twice. He thought he could handle it, but it was hurting him too much.</p><p> </p><p>If he had a terminal illness, he was willing to pay for it. Heck, God knows how much money he had. If he had a disease that needed a donor, he was more than happy to give something from his body to his so he could keep him alive. But he was living in the shadows; how he was supposed to know?</p><p> </p><p>“I KNOW!” Jaejoong shouted back, finally breaking through Yunho’s tight embrace. “I saw my best friend’s family clock die in my eyes. I had to tell him they were dying in a few hours and that there was nothing he could do to save them. Even when I told him that, he tried. It still happened!” he kept blabbering. For Yunho, it seemed nonsensical but to Jaejoong, it was spoken truth.</p><p> </p><p>He was confessing.</p><p> </p><p>“I see people’s life clocks,” he recognized, earning a weird look from Yunho. “I see how many years people have in their lives and you tell me I don’t know death when I see kids dying in hospitals or people walking in the streets, knowing they are about to die in 1-2 hours and they don’t know? What if they haven’t said goodbye? What if they left without giving that final hug or kiss? You don’t know how it feels! You don’t!” that’s all he said before he left crying to the bathroom, leaving a very startled Yunho behind.</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Countdown to departure - Day 3</b>
</p><p> </p><p>“Jaejoong, you have been sulking the entire day,” sighed Yoochun, watching a very nervous Junsu by his side. He was a good friend of Jaejoong, but not like his almost-boyfriend. They were still dating, 6 months into the relationship. However, in these situations, it was better a stranger than a best friend. They were close, but it wasn’t enough.</p><p> </p><p>So he was hoping Jaejoong would talk to him in case he didn’t want to speak with Junsu.</p><p> </p><p>But there was no response. All he could hear were cries from the other side.</p><p> </p><p>“Should we get Changmin?” he whispered to Junsu, hearing him sigh as the tears fell. He knew of Jaejoong’s gift. It was strange to understand it, but how couldn’t he? He saw with his own eyes how accurately he told people they were dying and how he searched for the obituary of those persons to check the facts.</p><p> </p><p>It was scary, but it wasn’t as scary as actually living it.</p><p> </p><p>He remembered asking Jaejoong how much time he had left. He wanted to know if it was a lot or if it was short. He never wanted to know the exact time but an approximate. Jaejoong smiled and told him he was going to have a very long life. Yoochun wished he wasn’t lying, but he seemed genuine.</p><p> </p><p>“Oh, nevermind, he’s calling,” he said, answering the phone immediately. “Hey, Min, we have an emergency,” he indicated. Changmin was his best friend and was starting to know Jaejoong and Junsu. For a strange reason, Changmin and Jaejoong clicked immediately and Junsu was even a bit jealous as it took Changmin two weeks to know most of Jaejoong’s darkest secrets while for him, it took months to discover and even years.</p><p> </p><p>But he didn’t mind.</p><p> </p><p>He knew the kind of person Changmin was and even if their relationship failed, he knew they were still going to be friends and he was okay. He truly was. Changmin needed it as much as Jaejoong needed Junsu.</p><p> </p><p>He was going through a breakup and this helped him wordlessly.</p><p> </p><p><em>“God, Chun, I don’t know who needs more help right now!” </em>he heard his best friend desperately say and he quietly stood with the phone in his hands.</p><p> </p><p>If Changmin was panicking, it was bad.</p><p> </p><p><em>“Do you remember Yunho?” </em>and he immediately sighed. He hadn’t spoken to him in more than a year. Ever since that accident happened, he isolated himself. He ignored calls, switched jobs and he simply disappeared. He was still hurt, the three of them were the best friends, having grown up together and they even went to his wedding. Changmin was the godfather and he was the best man.</p><p> </p><p>He wished he knew where he was.</p><p> </p><p>“Of course I remember,” he replied with a sad smile covering his face. “You talk to him like he is a stranger. We know how hard it must be on him, but we don’t know anything. It looked like he disappeared from South Korea.”</p><p> </p><p><em>“I found him!” </em>he heard him scream, his teary voice getting the best of him. <em>“Fuck, Chun, he is a goddamned mess. We should have tried better, we failed as his best friends. I feel so fucking guilty…” </em></p><p> </p><p>“I feel bad too,” confessed Yoochun, feeling the tears appearing on his eyes. “But he cut us out. He closed his social media, he changed his phone number, he changed jobs and he sold his house. He had no other family. He only had them and us. He wanted to go through this alone instead of relying on us. We had no choice.”</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>“The funniest thing in this whole fucking world, which is a joke, is that he confessed he’s in love with Kim Jaejoong. Kim Jaejoong, Chun, Junsu’s best friend! And that he left him because he has three days to live and did not explain to him. It’s like a never-ending pain, Chun, how? How?” </em>
</p><p> </p><p>Yoochun froze.</p><p> </p><p>What?</p><p> </p><p>He directed his eyes towards the worried Junsu, who was looking at him being worried for both of them.</p><p> </p><p>“Send me the pin to where you are with Yunho and I’ll meet you as soon as I convince Jaejoong to come out of his room.”</p><p> </p><p><em>“Fuck,” </em>he heard his best friend said. “<em>You are with Jaejoong? Is he the one that needs help?” </em></p><p> </p><p>And that’s when he heard two whispers.</p><p> </p><p>One asking for Jaejoong and the other one inquiring for Yunho.</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Countdown to departure - Day 2</b>
</p><p> </p><p>Jaejoong was looking directly at Yunho’s red and puffy eyes. He looked destroyed, just like he was. They were both trying to survive the impossible and he had no other words to console the other.</p><p> </p><p>He was supposed to die tomorrow.</p><p> </p><p>He felt the tears falling from his eyes again, but this time his tears weren’t alone.</p><p> </p><p>He saw Yunho’s too.</p><p> </p><p>“Is it true?” he heard the oldest voice speaking towards him. He truly wanted to break eye contact and run away, but they knew the other three were looking at them from the car and they were there to stop them from doing something stupid.</p><p> </p><p>Like the one, he was thinking of.</p><p> </p><p>Jaejoong just nodded with his head, extending his left hand covered in a handkerchief. “I have one day left… Just one day…”</p><p> </p><p>“How much do I have?” he asked, taking his wrist and slowly caressing it, his eyes fixated at the red bandana.</p><p> </p><p>“Infinite,” he confessed, feeling the slight squeeze from the other. “You are the first and only one I have seen with such a symbol. We first walked by each other at a cafe and you--” but he was interrupted by the eldest.</p><p> </p><p>“I made you drop a book,” he said with a slight smile, earning a surprised look from the other. “We apologized and went to our ways again. Yes, I did recognize your chocolate orbs when <em>you </em>saved me. That’s why in my anguish, I stepped out. I believe in coincidences, Kim Jaejoong and I don’t believe you are leaving this world without me.”</p><p> </p><p>Jaejoong felt more tears falling down and he decided to take his handkerchief out. He has not seen his wrist yet, his eyes focused on Yunho’s face. “You can’t see it, but it’s here,” he pointed it out with the right finger. “I cannot control death, Jung Yunho, neither can you.”</p><p> </p><p>But Yunho kissed him. Fervorously, without restrictions. Jaejoong felt the mix of their tears in the bittersweet kiss, but he broke it quickly after.</p><p> </p><p>“I don’t want you to see me die,” confessed the youngest, trying his best to control his sobs. “I don’t want you to go through the same thing you went through twice. I can’t mend your heart, Yunho, I’m leaving…”</p><p> </p><p>“Why can’t you take my time?” he asked, almost begging to the other. “If I have infinite time, why can’t you take half or all of it?”</p><p> </p><p>“My heart wouldn’t take it,” confessed Jaejoong after a brief sigh. “How can I get years from the love of my life? That would mean losing you… I’d rather lose myself…”</p><p> </p><p>“I don’t care!” he shouted out to him, grabbing him by the wrist and putting him closer to him. “You don’t get to choose what I want and right now, I want you. Forever. Why can’t I? Why is the world against me having someone to love?”</p><p> </p><p>Jaejoong began to sob. He didn’t know what to say and grabbed Yunho’s jacket for dear life. He wasn’t ready to go. He never was. He wanted to stay. He wanted to fight for this feeling. He wanted to be one with Yunho again; forever. He wanted to be his and heal him. He wanted to be his support.</p><p> </p><p>He wanted him to forget what happened and give him a new chance at life.</p><p> </p><p>But he had one day left.</p><p> </p><p>Only one day.</p><p> </p><p>And he cried more as Yunho embraced him, his tears drowning him too.</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Countdown to departure - Day 1</b>
</p><p> </p><p>Jaejoong wanted to be left alone. That was his final wish. He didn’t want anyone to be near when he died. After all, he had a couple of hours left.</p><p> </p><p>He sighed. He has cried more these days than at any time in his life, but he had no more tears to share.</p><p> </p><p>They were gone.</p><p> </p><p>Just like part of his soul was.</p><p> </p><p>He was calmly lying down on his apartment, waiting for the darkness to embrace him.</p><p> </p><p>Even though he showed his wrist to Yunho yesterday, he never looked at it. Not even once. He knew his time was up and there was no use on holding into an impossible. No matter how much his dearest love wanted to give his time to him, there was no way of doing it. One cannot give their own time to another no matter how much they loved. Life wasn’t meant to be that way.</p><p> </p><p>If not, how many lives could be saved because of love? Tons.</p><p> </p><p>Jaejoong sighed. He was beginning to feel tired and exhausted. A sharp pain in his stomach coming all of the sudden.</p><p> </p><p>“I guess this is it,” he said to himself, his eyes starting to hurt and close by themselves. “I thought I had more time, but no… I don’t…” his voice started to get draggy and soggy. He really felt like his clock gave up.</p><p> </p><p>He gave a last sigh to the world before everything else turned black.</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Zero</b>
</p><p> </p><p>Jaejoong woke up, his eyes being blinded by the bright lights.</p><p> </p><p>Was he in heaven? Perhaps.</p><p> </p><p>It was too white for his liking. It hurt his eyes deeply, but he felt at ease.</p><p> </p><p>He always thought about what it meant to die. No one can speak to the dead - yet. So, it is a mystery that will remain for eternity.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>“JAEJOONG!” </em>
</p><p> </p><p>And he smiled, his watery eyes looking at nowhere in particular. He knew that voice with his entire heart and he felt sad.</p><p> </p><p>Yunho must be suffering the most.</p><p> </p><p>He just hoped he would last past the 12 days he promised him.</p><p> </p><p>But when he felt an embrace along with the happiest sobs in his life, he knew he wasn’t in heaven.</p><p> </p><p>He was.. Alive?</p><p> </p><p>Alive?!</p><p> </p><p>But how… he was sure… he was sure he was dying. He saw his clock. It has never failed him.</p><p> </p><p>“Take it…” he briefly heard his whispers, trying his best to look at his right wrist. “Take all of it but please, please, stay with me…”</p><p>
  <em>50 years, 1 day and 88 seconds</em>
</p><p> </p><p>He desperately held on to Yunho’s shirt, trying to see the back of his neck until he saw a glimpse of it.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>50 years, 1 day and 88 seconds</em>
</p><p> </p><p>It was no longer infinite. They had the same amount of time.</p>
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